一九六七年,我出生在中國大陸廣東省茂名市。
我母親在新加坡出生,二十世紀五十年代初回到中國大陸,那時中共叫海外華人回來「建設新中國」。可是很多海外華人回到大陸後,中共說他們是「外國間諜」,將他們迫害致死。我母親慌忙燒掉她的新加坡出生證,帶著我和姐姐戰戰兢兢的生活。
我父親出生在中國大陸農村。考上大學後他的夢想是做個老師、照顧好母親。可是讀大二時朝鮮戰爭爆發,中共宣傳說,美軍正越過中朝邊境入侵中國,叫大陸民眾「抗擊美國侵略者!保家衛國!」整個中國大陸於是被中共煽動的極度仇視美國,無數青年參軍,被送上朝鮮戰場。父親也退學參了軍。
他在空軍服役八年後,「反右運動」開始。在運動中,中共叫大陸民眾給中共提意見,可是當民眾真的指出中共所犯的一些錯誤後,中共撕開偽裝的面紗,把這些民眾打成「右派」並迫害致死。當父親的上級要他誣陷一位坦言中共錯誤的同事時,父親拒絕了,由此被扣上「同情右派」的帽子、流放到北大荒勞改了十年。
北大荒十年後父親被調到四川一個偏僻的山區,在那裡度過了歷時十年的「文革」、並在「文革」中再次受到迫害。
在我童年的記憶中幾乎沒有父親。
當父親終於被允許來茂名與我們母女團聚時,他已經四十八歲。
他做老師與照顧母親的夢想已被無情的輾的粉碎。
(英文對照)
I was born in Maoming, Guangdong Province, mainland China, in 1967.
My mother was born in Singapore. She came to mainland China in the early 1950s when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) asked overseas Chinese to come back to “build a new China”. But after numerous overseas Chinese did come back, the CCP classified them as “foreign spies” and persecuted them to death. My mother hurriedly burned her Singaporean birth certificate and lived every day with my older sister and me with trepidation.
My father was born in the countryside of mainland China. He made it to college. He dreamed of becoming a teacher and taking good care of his beloved mother. But the Korean War broke out when he was a sophomore. The CCP propaganda claimed that the American troops were invading China through the Chinese-Korean border, telling mainland Chinese to “Fight American invaders! Protect your family and defend your country!” The entire mainland China thus was deceived into fiercely hating America. Countless young people enlisted and were sent to the Korean battlefields. My father also dropped out of school and enlisted.
When he had served in the air force for eight years, the “Anti-Rightists Movement” began. In the movement, the CCP told mainland Chinese to speak out their opinions about the CCP; after people did speak out some of its wrongdoings, the CCP unveiled its real face, classifying those people as “rightists” and persecuting them to death.
When my father’s superior told him to frame a colleague who had honestly mentioned a few of the CCP’s wrongdoings, my father refused; he thus was classified as “sympathizing with the rightists” and was transferred to Beidahuang, an extremely remote, glacial region in Northeastern China, to do hard labor.
After ten years in Beidahuang, my father was transferred to an out-of-the-way mountainous area in Sichuan Province, where he underwent the ten years of “Cultural Revolution” and was persecuted again in the movement.
In my childhood memories, there was hardly any image of my father.
When my father was finally allowed to come to Maoming to live with my mother and us sisters, he was already forty-eight years old.
His dream of becoming a teacher, of taking good care of his mother, had all been cruelly smashed.
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