许其正：他们是生态保育专家？

他们是生态保育专家

他们这么自夸

仿佛除了他们再无他人

他们常常拿着书本作凭恃

他们能说出某种动物的身长

他们能说出某种植物的样子

他们能举出他们的说法是有所本的

他们还笔之成文，发表出来

并汇集成书，获得大奖

他们运用来骗票当选市长、民意代表甚至总统

是的，他们是生态保育专家

他们大剌剌地说落地生根是蕃薯

他们大剌剌地说台北市没有蝉

他们大剌剌地说竹子是用种子种出来的

他们大剌剌地说蚯蚓会鸣叫

他们大剌剌地说蝼蛄是土蟋蟀

他们大剌剌地说小时候和同伴爬到蕃茄树上玩游戏

他们大剌剌地说下雨时鸟儿成群飞翔鸣叫

他们大剌剌地说抓伯劳是用的网子

是的，他们是生态保育专家

可是，有一天，他们到乡间看到温驯的牛

却说那是长了两支角的怪物，吓得不停发抖

他们不是生态保育专家吗？

这我可不敢说了

因为他们自命是专家

我没资格给否认

因为我是从小在乡下成天捏泥巴吃泥土长大的

这种土包子没有辩才，没有书本作凭恃

再怎么讲也讲不过他们

干脆不讲也罢！

就让他们去自夸他们是生态保育专家吧！

Are They Eco-Conservation Experts?

　　　　　　　　　　　Hsu ChiCheng

They are eco-conservation experts

Who are given to boasting

As if there were no other experts

Often they pride themselves on books

They know the inches of some birds or animals

They know the outlooks of some plants

They can trace their opinions to the very sources

And they write articles to express them

Then they collect them into books, to obtain prizes

They are selected mayors, people’s representatives, or even presidents by cheating in ballot

Yes, they are eco-conservation experts

Very pompously they say sweet potatoes are drop-root plants

Very pompously they say there are no cicadas in Taipei

Very pompously they say bamboos grow out of seeds

Very pompously they say earthworms can twitter

Very pompously they say mole crickets are earth crickets

Very pompously they say they climb onto tomatoes to play in their childhood

Very pompously they say when it rains the birds gather to fly and twitter

Very pompously they say they use nets to catch shrikes

Yes, they are eco-conservation experts

But, some day, when they come to the countryside and see a docile ox

They say it is a monster with two horns, trembling out of fear

Aren’t they eco-conservation experts?

I am not sure

Because they style themselves as eco-conservation experts

I am not entitled to negate it

Since I grow up in the countryside by playing with mud

A bumpkin, I lack eloquence and booklore

And I cannot outargue them

So forget it!

Let them style themselves eco-conservation experts!

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